Jesus. Where to begin.

Nearly an entire year has gone by.

An entire year since I've posted on my blog.

Where to begin? Hmm. Well as you know I started school last year, and I'm now going into my second year. I was struggling at first but am getting good grades now. My University Studies class has been amazing, and my professor Victoria has been very supportive and sets the bar for what an educator should be.

I just finished my Freshman Inquiry and was asked to be a mentor. I was very honored and surprised at this, but I think it's going to be a great experience.

School starts again next week after a nice month vacation...

My love life has been blessed. An old friend and I have been together now for nearly a year. I haven't felt this strongly about anyone since my very first love. He is all of the good things that I've been searching for, and that which I wasn't seeking but lacked just the same. He sets the bar for boyfriends everywhere.

He has brought me joy and love, fear and strength, happiness and wonder, and faith.

Happy Aniversary Blaine. I love you.

Musically I still get jealous when I see talented singer/songwriters on you tube or Logo. *chuckle* It sucks being so torn. I desire two worlds. I love making music, but I suck at self-discipline. There are days like today where I want to change from physics and computers to music. But then I look at my education bill and get slapped back to where I was.

I wonder. If music really was what I was destined to do, if I am really supposed to play that guitar and feel that feeling for the rest of my life... wouldn't I stop at nothing? Wouldn't I play it every day, write new songs every day, so that some day I can have as many pages in a Karaoke book as Elvis or the Beatles? But I don't. I go on, day by day. I work, I study, I eat sleep and shit, and I come back to this and a whole fucking year has gone by.

I am twenty seven years old. I turn twenty eight in 23 days.

If I stopped everything now and showed the discipline of a monk, ran towards my dream with the heart of a lion, and the determination of a hero, I could do it.

I could choose not to end up fat in a chair with a brain tumor from staring at code for 8 hours a day.

Maybe I'll go speak to an advisor in the music department. I could probably take a class or two in guitar or piano or something, inch my way in and see if it is something I can grow with.