Well well well.

Friday is here, and I seem to be doing better. The roommate search is on, and I'm trying hard to find someone before the beginning of October. If I can't, that's fine too -- I'll just be a little strapped for cash.

Life is going better. I finished recording my first attempt at Dwindle. It turned out OK, but I think I am going to redo it over and over again until I get it right ;) Such is the curse of perfectionism.... But the interesting thing is that I can't see that song being perfect in the studio sense -- just perfect in the sense that it conveys the shit that I want it to convey.

At any rate, working on it has been a good emotional outlet, and I'm feeling better. Time (or whatever) has given me some perspective on the past, and helped me to come to some mental and emotional conclusions.

"A man without regrets is blind in his mirrored box, but a man who learns from his mistakes finds a door beneath the fractals."

What a strange world we live in.

And now I depart, and in the words of Adam....

"HOLLA!"

w00t.

Nights like these are the hardest. You're never out of my thoughts, and my stomach is turning to the dance of my emotions. I try hard to forget, to occupy myself in some way or another -- and sometimes it works...

... But then there are nights like these, where I stare at a half-ironed shirt wondering, thinking, and just trying to get through the task at hand -- teetering on the edge of giving it up, and then strengthening my resolve with the promise of some fresh air and a cigarette.

I'd say that I miss the man that I used to be... but I don't. I'm not so stupid as to think things were any better when I was younger, or that reality was any kinder. To keep a positive outlook can be difficult, however, when the weight is so heavy and the hope, though strong, is so temporarily dim.... But it is there, and I can feel myself again, and this world where I've etched my name.

I will get through this -- rest easy, rest assured;-- Of that, there is no doubt...

But nights like these are the hardest.