Isn't it odd that each time I sit here on a blank screen trying to think of something deep or profound or meaningful to say, that the only thing that comes to my mind is the number 17?
Maybe it's just my current state of mind. I mean, who really remembers things like that? I wonder if oftentimes my perspective of the past is fabricated by my belief in the now. Maybe that is why sometimes I have such a hard time remembering things, and why I tend to act like a lawyer when it comes to interactions (saving emails, text messages, and other things to refer back to).
What's interesting about that is that there comes a point where I go into my mailbox and delete everything. Inbox, Outbox, Sent Items, Deleted Items. Just kind of a house keeping. And then, not a few moments later I think about it and I'm like, "Well shit. Now I can't quote anyone."
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Is that me trying to shoot myself in the foot, or is it me trying to be a better person? Am I trying to mold myself into something, or am I just cleaning up and making a mistake? What is a better person? Is it someone who has reference to history, and makes sound arguments utilizing the words of their "opponent" in order to state their case and their point in a more clear and concise (and historically accurate) manner? Or, is that just bullshit and is a better person someone who can work out problems without having to rely on the past? Is it better to let go of what occured, forgive and move on?
Maybe I am trying to teach myself to deal with issues and force myself to remember the things that are done to me. OR, maybe I am trying to learn my own limits and boundaries, and recognize when people step over them and know when it's no longer ok for them to do so (and how I should act accordingly).
Or maybe, I was just deleting my fucking email.
Maybe it's just my current state of mind. I mean, who really remembers things like that? I wonder if oftentimes my perspective of the past is fabricated by my belief in the now. Maybe that is why sometimes I have such a hard time remembering things, and why I tend to act like a lawyer when it comes to interactions (saving emails, text messages, and other things to refer back to).
What's interesting about that is that there comes a point where I go into my mailbox and delete everything. Inbox, Outbox, Sent Items, Deleted Items. Just kind of a house keeping. And then, not a few moments later I think about it and I'm like, "Well shit. Now I can't quote anyone."
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Is that me trying to shoot myself in the foot, or is it me trying to be a better person? Am I trying to mold myself into something, or am I just cleaning up and making a mistake? What is a better person? Is it someone who has reference to history, and makes sound arguments utilizing the words of their "opponent" in order to state their case and their point in a more clear and concise (and historically accurate) manner? Or, is that just bullshit and is a better person someone who can work out problems without having to rely on the past? Is it better to let go of what occured, forgive and move on?
Maybe I am trying to teach myself to deal with issues and force myself to remember the things that are done to me. OR, maybe I am trying to learn my own limits and boundaries, and recognize when people step over them and know when it's no longer ok for them to do so (and how I should act accordingly).
Or maybe, I was just deleting my fucking email.